, , ,

Imagine this.

A high school (let’s call it Team USA) has a football team that has won state championships for the last 10 years. Their longtime coach announced his retirement.  A young energetic man is hired to replace him. He gives several speeches before his first season apologizing for Team USA because they have been unsportsmanlike for many years, winning many games and with high margins of victory. He says that Team USA is not exceptional but rather are just another high school team, no better or worse than the rest.

He convenes his players for his first season. He tells the players that he is here to fundamentally change the team. He said don’t expect big margins of victories, that hurts the self-esteem of our opponents. Winning is not everything. We will try to contain our opponents, holding them from scoring but will refrain from fielding an intrusive and aggressive offense.

He announces the starting line-up. The 3 year all-state starter at quarterback is on the bench, replaced by a freshman with no experience at quarterback (Suzie Ryce).  The all state middle linebacker and defensive captain is on the bench, replaced by a sophomore weighing 50 pounds less than the captain (Johnnie Carry). The speedy tailback has been replaced with a frumpy slow sophomore (Hillary Clintstone). Coach points out that there are about the same number of starters from each class and an equal number of girls and boys which is much fairer than past teams.

The season ended with a disappointing 0-9 record. The coach calls it a great year, saying we achieved all of our goals. He says to expect future seasons to resemble this one. The fans are outraged. The school principal stands by his coach and exclaims that the fans “are just not capable of understanding “.

Nah, would never happen…….